To Tell or Not To Tell (Sex Work In Society Pt. 2)
…continued from Part 1: Social Stigma
I am not ashamed of what I do for a living.
I think that webcam models are brave entrepreneurs who landed on an awesome opportunity and took advantage of it. Unfortunately, the awesome is tainted by the social stigma, and every webcam model must decide how to approach this issue.
The basic options are:
A. Don’t give a shit.
B. Play it safe.
A. Don’t give a shit.
This is dangerous and it can result in adverse effects on both quality of life and personal relationships. Of course it could also be very freeing and empowering, depending on your outlook and personality.
I personally aspire to not give a shit. I am shy by nature, but I value quality relationships and I want to live a full and honest life. Sometimes living the “double life” of a camgirl makes that a little tricky.
Ultimately, I think that I don’t want to be close with people who are so close-minded that they would judge me based on my choice of job. If I was a customer service rep my job would not define me at all. Why is a job in the sex industry any different?
It’s what I do for a living, not who I am, and I shouldn’t have to hide it.
B. Play it safe.
There’s no shame in accepting that most of society is not ready for your progressive mindset.
You can probably tell who would not be open to your job in adult modeling – anyone with a religious upbringing and anyone who judges, for example, homosexuality as wrong isn’t likely prepared to accept someone who doesn’t fall into their definition of normal.
I choose not to tell my parents what I do because I know with certainty that they would be devastated based on their religious beliefs. It’s only natural that I love my parents and I want to protect them.
If you choose to moonlight as a webcam model on the side of a current job, you probably won’t need to worry about this. But if you decide to replace your job, you’ll need to also decide, well – to tell or not to tell. That is the question, after all.
We’ll hear some answers to this question from webcam models in the concluding installment of Sex Work in Society. I asked how they answer the casual question, “What do you do for a living?”
Keep reading:
Part 3
What Do You Do?
Would you pick approach A or B? Why?
I would love to hear your thoughts!
About Author
Angie
I'm a 26 year old Canadian, musician, and camgirl. I quit my day job in July 2013 thanks to webcam modeling, and I created U Camgirl to share what I've learned along the way. I'm here to answer questions and help anyone interested in pursuing webcam work.
I think personally I would be open about what I do if asked. I don’t flaunt what I do now and it’s not in the sex industry it’s just not part of my daily interactions with people. Why should modeling be any different?
I notice you mention your parents religious beliefs. I use to be a youth minister in an evangelical church and assisted in other churches before being asked to leave for preaching Paul’s gospel of living a life of grace and not law. I wouldn’t recommend rubbing that part of Romans in their faces but bear in mind that the Christ they believe in never hung around the wealthy and acceptable crowd himself. He preferred to associate with the people who accepted him and he accepted them. It was the bankers and lawyers their Christ hated and assaulted.
With that said I believe I’m beginning to ramble and I believe no one should feel ashamed of what they do whether it be for a living, a hobby, or for any other reason so rock on, girl.
Rob
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one Rob. Shame is so ingrained in our culture and feeling the need to consider whether to “tell or not to tell” is a sad reality for many working in “alternative” jobs (like webcam modeling). But as you said, there really shouldn’t be any difference, and I totally agree with you on that point. I think once we get past that culture of shame, and choose to not be ashamed, there is so much freedom to be had in life. I loved how you put it in your own article on Freedom.
That part of Romans always was one of my favourites
while I defaulted to my parents’ beliefs as a child and during my adolescence, and actually that whole idea of grace vs law was something I struggled with in religion. Now looking back I think it’s all one massive contradiction, but that’s just me lol. I think in the end we all have to choose our own path and decide for ourselves how to live and what to do and who to be etc.
And there I go rambling myself haha. Thanks for your comment Rob. Hope to see you around again soon!
Angie
Love what you have done with this site. It is nice to know that people who choose this work would have a safe place to talk to others and get support. Nice job!
Thanks Amanda! Your comment is encouraging. Thanks for stopping by! Cheers
It is amazing to find this website. I’ve read part I and II so far and I just want to admire your job as a blogger. I’m pretty sure this website is going to be so helpful to so many girls and boys out there who have so many questions regarding this topic. Well done! And keep up the great work
Thank you Andrea for your encouraging comment. I’m happy to hear that you’ve enjoyed the Sex Work in Society series so far! I hope you’re right – I want to be here to answer questions and help people understand this line of work better. Thanks again for stopping by and all the best to you! Cheers